Daddy.

     “Daddy,” Jennifer yelled. “Anybody seen my daddy?” 

     No one at the bar nodded. 
     “I’ll be your daddy, sweetheart,” she heard a deep, grubby voice reply. She continued traveling along the bar, but her father's eyes never looked upon her.
    Unsuccessful, Jennifer propped herself up onto a barstool and waiting for Linda the bartender to notice her.
     After she finished making a whiskey sour, Linda recognized Jennifer. “Girl, what you doing here? Your daddy been kicked out. He was puking all over the bar.”
     “Where’d he go?”
     “I don't give a shit where he went. And you best get outta here before Freddy sees you or one of these fellas starts getting fresh. No girl of fourteen needs to be here.”
     Jennifer left the bar. Her boots thumped against the hard dirt, rattling as she reached the pavement.

+++

    The night before, Jennifer had been sitting on the couch between Daddy and her brother Peter watching TV when her mother stumbled into their trailer.
    “You fuckin’ asshole!” she yelled, throwing her suitcase on the floor and trying to slap her father. “I’ve had enough.”
     He wrestled to protect himself from his wife. “What the fuck you talkin’ ‘bout, woman?” He asked, beer-breathed. Jennifer and Peter watched from the kitchen, where they had retreated.
Their mother began crying on the floor next to the couch. She starred at their father hatefully. “You know exactly what I’m talking about, George. You didn't bring my kids to see me at the detox center. And now, you can't remember to even pick me up.” 

    She rose. “I had to call a cab, you drunk asshole!”
    Daddy heaved. “The cab driver is waiting for you outside to pay him. You better’d not have spent all our money on beer.”
    “I got it, I got it,” Daddy said as he raised himself off the couch, keeping both arms in the air until he was out the door.
    Jennifer's mother turned toward her children, wiping the tears and snot from her face and straightening out her hair as she walked into the kitchen to embrace them. “I’m more sorry than you’d ever know,” she half-sighed, stroking their heads. “I got a long road ahead of me, but I'm gonna stay sober for you.”
    Jennifer heard her father's truck start up and back out of the driveway. “Daddy’s leavin’, Daddy’s leavin’!” She panicked, pushing herself away from her mother and running out the door. She watched his taillights speed down the dirt road toward town until they were out of sight.

+++

    When Jennifer stepped into her family’s trailer, Peter and his girlfriend Sammie were on the couch watching TV.
    “Where the hell you been?” Peter asked. “Momma’s been freaking out about you all night.”
    “What are you talkin’ about, Peter? Momma ain’t even here.”
    “She went to one of them meetings. Those people at the center told her she has to go to one every day or she’ll start drinking again.”
     Sammie giggled. “My granddaddy used to go to them meetings. He’d tell us about all the fuck ups in town when we’d visit him.”
    Jennifer shook her head as she took off her boots. “Momma’s full of shit, Peter. Daddy didn’t do nothing wrong. He just forget to get her. It’s a simple mistake and now she’s gone and run him away.”
    “Jennifer, you know Dad’s a drunk. Momma’s trying to stay sober. She don’t wanna deal with his bullshit anymore.”
    “What did Daddy ever do to us, Peter? He never beat us. He’d still have a job if Uncle Rick hadn’t of taken over the shop and fired him.”
    Peter shrugged and kissed Sammie on the neck, making her giggle uncontrollably.
    Hungry, Jennifer searched the refridgerator for food. It was full of tinfoil leftovers and rotten vegetables. She sighed and wandered around the trailer, following the overwhelming stench of cleaning products coming from her parents' bedroom.

    Every surface of their bedroom was spotless and barren, except for a Bible placed on her mother's dresser. Jennifer opened the closet and found all of her father's belongings piled on the floor.

+++

    Lying on her father's pile of clothes and shoes, Jennifer heard the front door open and slam shut.
    “Daddy! Daddy? Is that you?” She ran into the living room.
    Momma exhaled. “Where the hell have you been, Jennifer?”
    Jennifer folded her arms, staring at her feet. “I wanted to find Daddy.”
    “Darling, you wanna know where your daddy is? He’s probably passed out in some gutter. He doesn’t give a shit about us.”
    “That’s a lie!” Jennifer steps forward. “I know you’re lying!”
    “Honey, I’m sorry. Your Daddy ain’t here, but I am. And we gotta start all over.” Jennifer's mother motioned toward her with her arms open, but Jennifer moved back fearfully.
    “What the fuck is the matter with you, Jennie?” Peter asked.
    “Don’t talk to your sister like that.”
    “She’s stupid, Momma,” he yelled. “Come on Sammie, let’s get outta here.” They went into Peter's room and slammed the door behind them.
    “Listen to me, Jennifer. Daddy’s not gonna come back. I talked to him when you was at school and I'm not living with no drunk man anymore. I was gonna tell you, but you ain’t come home.”
    Jennifer’s face turned red. “You kicked Daddy out? Well, I'm not living here, neither.” She stormed into her room, locking the door behind her, planning to pack all of her belongings. Instead, she collapses onto her bed.
    Momma knocked on her door and tried to open it. “Jennifer! Jennifer! He doesn’t love us! He only cares for himself. You gonna have to realize that soon.”
   Jennifer digs her face into her pillow until she cannot hear her mother outside her door anymore.
    She moved onto her back, starring at the dusty ceiling above her. She counted all the nice things her father had done for her until she could no longer keep her eyes open.

+++

    Walking home from school the next day, Jennifer heard a familiar honk behind her. She turned around, spotting Daddy’s truck. Jumping up and down, waving her arms in the air, mouthing “Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!”, she chased the truck into a nearby parking lot, wheezing as her father stepped out of it.
    “Hey Jennie.” He smiled, giving her a hug.
    “I’ve missed you, Daddy!” She exclaimed, looking at his face. There were dark circles under his eyes and his moustache was dirty and uneven.
    “I guess your mom gone done and told you what’s happening. I ain’t coming back.”
    “I hate Momma, Daddy. I want to go with you! Take me with you!”
    He laughed, patting Jennifer on the back.
    “What’s so funny?” she asked. He pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and handed his daughter a twenty-dollar bill.
    “I heard you went looking for me last night. I don't want you going back there.”
    Jennifer glanced at Daddy’s truck. “Daddy, you can't leave without me.”
    “Jennie, I gotta go. You gotta stay with your momma.”
    Jennifer shook her head. “Why can’t you take care of me?”
    “Now, just stop with that, okay? You’ll see me again, real soon.”
    She clung onto him, feeling his heart racing against her ear. He pulled her away, putting her head between his hands and kissing her on the lips.
     “You’ll see me again soon, Jennie.”
Jennifer watched him drive away.  She took her time getting home, resting under trees and starring into open windows.

++++

    That night, Jennifer sat holding her mother's hand in an AA meeting held in a small, smoke-filled room with weak flourescent lighting.
    She closed her eyes and thought about her father,  about where he would be going and if he would always care about her. She fingered the twenty-dollar bill in her pocket and imagined what Daddy would say about all the people in the room if he were there. Suddenly, uncontrollably, Jennifer exploded with laughter.
    “Shhh! Shh!” Momma whispered, slapping Jennifer’s thigh.
    But she could not stop. It grew and grew into an uproarious bark until the room was consumed by the her sounds in remembrance of him.